Game 2: Meh, It's A Win.

Playoff Beards is hereby putting out an APB (that's All Playoff Beards) Alert: there is now officially a bounty of 267,000 Vietnamese Dong on the limp, patchy affront to beardkind that currently festers on the jaw of Bulls center Joakim Noah. The parasitic growth clearly has its roots deep in the brain stem of the man, judging by his egregiously erroneous comments on the state of Cleveland's vivacious social scene, as well as his provocative statements towards Kevin Garnett's carnivorous goatee. Apparently Noah's silly monkey beard also is pretty good at basketball, which explains how that lanky, shrill excuse for an enforcer managed to bother the Cavs all night. Of course, the Supreme Bearded Being would not allow such a travesty to come to fruition, and his adjective-defying heroics provided a happy ending to the game. Up 2-0 in the series, the Cavs will take their stubbly wrath on the road to Chicago, and we can only hope that by then some plucky soul will have succeeded in capturing the bounty on the evil beard.

Game 2 Beard Reactions

Beardzilla: One thumb up for some strong bench play from Jamario Moon, and an awed gape for the wonder and majesty that is LeBron James. No.....words.....
should've sent a......poet.....


Beard-a-tron: M-E-H, meh. I can't believe it took 40 from LeMVP to beat these clowns. Seriously, somebody has got to sneak up on Joking Noah with a straight razor. I swear that thing is giving him Samson-like power. Either that, or the beard is a transplant from a dead guy who was a serial killer, like in that Simpsons episode.