Game 4: A Swift Kick In the Beard

Let's all take a step back for a moment and consider what just went down. The scrappy underdogs, with a win in their pocket and the home crowd in their ear, came out strong and played nearly even with the Cavs for almost the entire first half. Even the TV guys had shifted from "gratuitous LeBron praise mode" to "actual game coverage" mode. Then, in the blink of an eye (specifically, the almighty Eye of LeBron, which has a Sauron-like ability to pierce the souls of mortals), the game was over. The series was over. "Actual game coverage" mode was over. So thorough was the destruction wrought by the Bearded King and his merry men, all the stunned home crowd could do was collect their jaws from the sticky, peanut-covered floor of the arena and keep track of the dizzying numbers on the stat sheet.

The Cavs are a team with an on/off switch, and that mechanism is sometimes faulty. But when it's firmly in the 'on' position, Thor help you if you're in the way. Let's hope it stays there. Now if we could only find the 'on' switch for our hair-growth genes...

Game 4 Beard Reactions

Beardzilla: A satisfied smirk below my trashy quasi-stache and a haughty upturned nose above it. All it took was five minutes of this elusive playoff intensity we've heard so much about, and the opposition melted away like [BEARD ANALOGY NOT FOUND].

Beard-a-tron: A little taste of how deadly this team can be. Clearly, the turn of events has much to do with the continued strengthening of my beard. That's why I got this awesome shirt. It's from Canada, so just imagine that those hockey sticks are basketballs.