Game 2: Hear No Evil, See No Evil

Confession time, loyal bearded brethren: Beard-a-tron and Beardzilla have let you down. Yes, it's true, don't try to talk us out of our shame; oh, the ignominy! While our beloved Cavs were getting pasted on the their home court, we were out getting our own chunky, sluggish beards handed to us on the NYC hardwood. That's right, your fearless role models are also semi-professional basketball players, in much the same way that people fleeing stampeding rhinos are semi-professional sprinters. For what it's worth, our squad, aptly titled Playoff Beards, leads the league in ties.

We watched the first quarter, and as we left the Beard Cave, we felt confident that the home team would increase in feisty-ness eventually, as has been their wont all season. But, repeated Blackberry check-ins provided more and more discouraging news, which certainly affected our own performance on the court, which in turn surely damaged the karma back in Cleveland. For everyone who went to the game (especially the First Bearded Family) and fell victim to our malfeasance, we apologize. It'll probably only happen one or two more times, at the most.

Game 2 Beard Reactions

Beardzilla: See no evil. I can only say that this doesn't sound like it was pleasant to watch. Especially because Rasheed Wallace's pubic-hair beard appears to have regained some of its former evil.


Beard-a-tron: Hear no evil. If there's one thing that comforts me about this loss, it's that I didn't have to listen to Reggie Miller butcher the King's English while praising the Celtics. That would have been truly awful.