Game 5: The Worst Thing Ever.

That was the worst thing ever. That was a game that seems destined to join the Misery Montage alongside the other blindingly painful moments in the seemingly endless depths of Cleveland sports hell. Nothing worked. The best player in the game couldn't buy a bucket until the game was already out of reach. The opposition made every one of their open looks, effortlessly shredding every defensive scheme thrown at them. The amazing thing is, the Cavs actually led after the first quarter. They were up by eight at one point. And then--gone. Their lead and their will vanished in the blink of an eye, like a beard on a -- screw it, no beard joke here. My own hard-won hairs are quivering in fear that their time may come sooner than we expected.

Optimist Beard: It ain't over til it's over. That's the third blowout in this series, all by road teams. We still have the best player, who can start proving it regularly any time he's ready.

Pessimist Beard: ....I'm going to need a lot of shaving cream.

Game 5 Beard Reactions

Beardzilla: So, after writing a big steaming heap of words about free agency last night, I wish to rescind all of them. This game was like the first half of my worst nightmare, and I think we call all guess what the second half is.


Beard-a-tron: .... F. That is all.